Palo Alto, CA – Upon learning that facebook traffic declined by 10% last month, CEO Mark Zuckerberg made a stunning concession on Monday that revealed a new up-and-coming competitor for the social network. “Look, for years now we have been amazingly successful at tricking college kids into thinking that facebook actually was the fuckin internet….I guess they’re just wising up” Zuckerberg said, adding that he was personally shocked that “even Microsoft fell for it.” Some facebook staffers were not so sure, pointing out that the internet doesn’t have “like, you know, cool applications like photo sharing, chat or online games and stuff. I mean, we have an A-P-I….does the internet do that?” According to high-level sources, one possible turnaround plan includes an IPO and subsequent acquisition of a “real media company that makes profits and stuff” using company stock.