Modena, Italy – The Ferrari car company today announced August 1st as the debut date for the Olive compact car model which is fueled entirely by olive oil. When asked why develop a car that runs on olive oil, which, gallon for gallon, sells for at least three times the price of gasoline, company representatives told reporters that ‘olive oil is better for you’.
“Better for your body, better for the environment,” said Maria Deltorio, Media Relations. “Everybody knows American environmentalists will pay more once we slap a green label on it!” she said.
While other auto manufacturers focus on battery powered vehicles, hybrid technology, and low cost alternative fuels, Ferrari stayed the course with their plan to bring the Olive to market. “This has been in development for over a decade,” said Deltorio. “Ever since the press began to vilify all other types of oil, we knew the Olive had a chance and we’ve been nurturing the niche ever since.”
The push in recent years toward olive oil in cooking can be traced to secret ‘olive oil mafia’ funding. Some conspiracy theorists even suspect American cooking personality Rachel Ray, who seems to coat everything in EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) to be on the take.
“The Olive is the natural progression in world domination of olive oil,” said Pietro Cartucci, of the Olive Orchard Growers Council. These oil magnates foresee a future when every human need is met by the humble olive.
Mediterranean grandmothers everywhere responded to the news with a collective ‘told you so’.