BURBANK, CA – Ed McMahon, longtime announcer and co-host of “The Tonight Show” and current nearly-destitute celebrity, has been named to host “Foreclosing With The Stars.” The reality show – based on a British version called “Stars Who Can’t Tell A Euro From A Pound” – will pair personalities from Hollywood’s “Is he still alive?” list with corrupt business managers, agents and ex-spouses.
Each week, the stars will be given $1 million which their crooked partner will try to convince them to invest in questionable yet enticing business ventures such as ostrich farms, Nigerian principalities, Rob Schneider films and cereal restaurants. Their choices will be judged by an African-American IRS agent, a ditzy female investment banker and a British guy who knows nothing about finances but has pictures of Simon Cowell with Paula Abdul. Viewers will have three hours after the show to call in and vote for the celebrity who gave the most pitiful, whiny excuses for going broke. The pair with the lowest combined score is eliminated and at the end of the series, the winning star will receive a government bailout, a clean credit report and a copy of the book, “Investing For Dummies.”
Celebrities already lined up for the first season include singer Willie Nelson, boxer Mike Tyson, actor Burt Reynolds, singer Britney Spears, rapper Hammer, actress Kim Basinger and former child actors Gary Coleman and Corey Feldman. Ed McMahon is still in a brace while recovering from a broken neck, but at the announcement he commented, “For what they’re paying me, I can be in a full body cast and still say “Heeeeeeere’s Foreclosing With The Stars!””