KNOCKSBURG, TN – Rosco Lou Bransky, owner of the “Dents With Me” body shop in downtown Knocksburg, says he and his crew have been working 24/7 ever since Rosco Lou’s cousin Stinky came up with the idea of converting Smart Cars into C+ Cars. “Stinky’s a repo man and he got the Smart Car from a guy who went broke selling John Edwards bobble-head dolls,” explained Rosco Lou. “Stinky said the Smart Car was too “elitist” for a repo man so he asked me to pimp it into something he would drive, like a Pontiac Bonneville. I came up with the idea of calling it a C+ Car, even though Stinky never got higher than a D in school without copying from that Asian foreign exchange student.”
Once Stinky’s buddies saw his cute little Bonneville, Dents With Me was getting orders from as far away as Stumpgrinder, Kentucky, for Smart Cars pimped into Ford Falcons, Chevy Impalas, Dodge Chargers and even a Corvair. Instead of pounding out dents, Rosco Lou was pounding them in and making the cars look less snobby by adding Bondo, gray paint and duct tape. Billy Ron Ron, owner of the local dealership – Crazy Harry’s Smart Cars and Skateboards – reports that he’s sold more Smart Cars than skateboards for the first time since that fast-talking Mercedes rep tricked him into becoming a dealer. Virtually all of the Smart Cars purchased at Crazy Harry’s are sent directly to Dents With Me to be pimped into C+ Cars for about $10,000 per vehicle. “For 2 grand more I can turn it into a D- Car,” says Rosco Lou. “I make black smoke come out of the tailpipe, put a wobble in the front wheels and paste a ‘My Kid Steals Your Honor Student’s Lunch Money’ bumper sticker on the back.”
After a video of the C+ Cars appeared on YouTube, Rosco Lou has been getting queries from around the country and is considering franchising. “I got a call yesterday from a guy in Washington, DC,” said Bransky. “He wouldn’t say who he was but he wanted a Smart Car pimped into a C+ Car that looked like a pickup truck for clearing brush on his ranch. And his buddy wanted the same thing only with a gun rack and a cigarette lighter that could run a portable defibrillator.”