MINEAPOLIS — Porn revenues overall spiked 20%-30% in the weeks following the economic stimulus checks hit American mailboxes. To keep business booming, the Porn Media Association of America (PMAA) has released recommendations for maintaining responsible porn usage rates during these tough economic times.
“We’d really hate to see the kind of consumer restraint that’s going on with gas and groceries,” said industry expert Frank Hinkle. “Porn is a necessity that American men should not have to go without.”
PMAA’s suggests getting the most for your online porn dollars by using subscription services that offer unlimited use for a flat monthly fee. They also advocate making more room in the budget for porn by cutting out actual dating.
“It’s just so much cheaper to go digital,” said Hinkle. “When you compare even premium products with the cost of taking a real live woman out, virtual sex is a lot cheaper.” Factor in costs for birth control medical expenses, plus the certainty of porn’s outcome vs. in-the-flesh encounters, and porn is the clear winner.