CUPERTINO, CA – With the availability of the iPhone SDK (software development kit) and the App Store as an easy distribution channel, virtually anyone can now develop applications for Apple’s iPhone 3G. As a result, a lot of really bad apps are being developed. A reporter digging through Apple’s trash bins at its Cupertino headquarters found a list of sales figures for iPhone apps. At the top were games like Tic-Tac-Touch, apps to find stations selling cheap gas and fun time wasters like Lick My Phone. At the bottom, with sales of zero or one (most likely to the developer’s mom) were these applications:
What’s Steve Wearing Now? Zooms in on Apple CEO Steve Jobs and displays his outfit, which is always a black T-shirt and jeans.
Is Pauly In It? Key in the name of a movie and it tells you if Pauly Shore is in it so you don’t waste two hours watching it.
TP Me! Checks each stall in a rest room and directs you to the one with a full roll of toilet paper.
Virtual Invisible Man You’re responsible for the life of a man you can’t see.
Get Out Of My Line Scans the shopping cart of the person in front of you in the 10 Items Or Less line and sounds an ear-piercing alarm at 11 or above.
Brief Briefs Breaking news from the men’s underwear industry.
Does This Smell Funny? Keeps track of the expiration dates on everything in your refrigerator.
Penny Layin’ Uses GPS to locate pennies on the sidewalks, streets and parking lots in your neighborhood.
Call An Amish Girl Phone directory for cute single Amish women.
Spermbanker List of all know children of sperm bank donors to help prevent you from dating your half-sibling
Calorwheeze Type in the exercise and your weight and it determines if you burn more calories doing the exercise or wheezing afterwards.
Don’t Sit There Checks the reservation list on your airline flight and determines the odds of you sitting next to a horny salesman, a screaming baby or an Italian guy who looks Middle Eastern.
Jones Alert Analyzes real estate listings to insure you don’t move next door to the Joneses.