WASHINGTON, DC — Lynnie Mae, the mother of troubled mortgage lender Fannie Mae, has written her daughter’s side of the story in a new tell-all book called “Through the Foreclosure.” Published by Time/Life Books, the tome will be available only via television commercials run between the hours of 2 and 6 a.m.
This is the first time Lynnie Mae has entered the public eye – in fact, most people assume Fannie Mae is the adopted daughter of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. She decided to write the book in response to the ugly rumors she’s been reading about her daughter in the tabloids – a term she uses for both the National Enquirer and the Wall Street Journal.
The 246-page book traces Fannie Mae’s life starting with her early years, when she was the friend of all the boys coming back from World War II who were looking for a date with a cute girl with money. Fannie soon became the most popular teen on the block, to the dismay of her friends who belonged to the Young Republicans Club, who Lynnie blames for spreading nasty lies and trying to ruin her daughter’s reputation.
According to the advanced copy of “Through the Foreclosure” obtained by CapitalistBanter.com, while Lynnie Mae gave Fannie her blessing when her daughter left their modest-and-fully-paid-for home in Virginia and moved to Washington, D.C., she was soon shocked by Fannie’s behavior, especially the cover photos on Forbes and Fortune showing Fannie getting out of the Federal Reserve Chairman’s car wearing no underwear. Lynnie writes that this was not the daughter she raised – the one who was once so modest she knitted a cover for the rear of her piggy bank.
Things only got worse during Fannie Mae’s brief but tumultuous marriage to Freddie Mac. Lynnie blames him for the problems of their children, whom she affectionately refers to as “my little grand-mortgages.” The kids were a handful from the start, as Lynnie describes in a sad-yet-hilarious story about a birthday party, a clown and thousands of popped balloons.
Lynnie credits the intervention of Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson for saving her daughter’s life. In the final chapter, she predicts the comeback of a healthy and vibrant Fannie Mae, once again the most popular girl in the neighborhood. Lynnie even concedes that, although she didn’t like him at first, she’s accepted Fannie’s new Chinese boyfriend and his huge rich family.
The New York Times Book Review is calling “Through the Foreclosure” the “feel-good hit of the recession” and will debut it at Number One on both the hardcover and business best-seller lists.