NY, NY- In a desperate attempt to avoid another fiasco like Windows Vista, Bill Gates has staged a hostile takeover of Glaceau, aka Energy Brands. The New York City based company is the producer of Smart Water. It’s rumored that the takeover cost considerably less than the amount spent for Mojave Experiment commercials.
Initially, Gates became interested in Smart Water when he found out that Apple employees used it while working on the iPhone concept. At one point they were thinking of calling it the iCell and making apple shaped buttons on the keypad but after using Smart Water, Apple chose the name iPhone and used a touch screen. Smart!
The water’s effectiveness was confirmed in a study released by Harvard School of Medicine late last week, it was found that Smart Water will raise a subject’s IQ by as much as ten points. Their control group was given a dosage of 128 ounces (one gallon) per 12 hour period. A Microsoft insider reported that Gates has upped consumption to 1028 ounces per 12 hours for all employees.
The Bobby Builder Construction company of Redmond, Washington, confirmed an order for an additional 600 bathrooms that are to be completed at the Microsoft facilities before the end of the year. They also hinted that the bathrooms would come equipped with a foldout desk for use with a laptop.
All Smart Water has been removed from supermarkets and funneled to an undisclosed location. Gates plans on replacing Smart Water in stores with a new product to help consumers forget about it: Sexy Water.