CAMBRIDGE, MA – The group Daft and Unusual Monikers for Babies (DUMB), an organization of Harvard MBA recipients dedicated to propagating their species, has completed a six-month study on the effect of a baby’s name on his or her future success in the business world. Names of the children and grandchildren of Harvard MBA recipients and anyone whose unusual name is followed by “III” or “IV” were eliminated from consideration. After taking into consideration the current economic situation, DUMB released this list of names to avoid if you want your child to grow up to become a CEO, billionaire or defense contractor:
Freddie (also Frederick and Freda)
Mac (also Mackenzie and MacDonald)
Fannie (also Fantasia, Fandango and Fang)
Mae (also May, Maynard and Mae B.)
Ethel
Diesel
Sal (only if last name is Minella)
Tank
Crash (even if he’s clumsy)
Star (only if last name is Buck)
China (especially if baby has red hair)
Bear (unless it’s short for Barack)
G.M. (no matter what the letters stand for)
S.U.V. (see G.M.)
N.R.G. (you get the idea)
Yale (also Cornell, Brownie and Penny)
Britney